I do, I do, I do!

August 23, 2018

 

No, it's not a post about Abba, although I do love a good sing along. With the wedding season in full swing I thought it would be interesting to look at wedding traditions, where they come from and why we do them.

Brides up and down the country are currently busy preparing for their big day; shopping, planning, and ensuring they follow certain traditions but have you ever stopped to think why we do them? There are certain aspects of every wedding that seem to be planned without thought because they’re traditional, but there are few among us who know how or why they started.   Well wonder no longer dear reader as you are about to be enlightened!

 

THE PROPOSAL

Why do men go down on one knee to propose?   The specific origin of this tradition is unknown. However, there is much speculation as to how this gesture, technically known as genuflection, came about. In the Middle Ages, during the days of chivalry and knighthood, men would typically go down on one knee before the women they adored. Medieval knights would also kneel before their lords in the ultimate sign of loyalty and obedience. Likewise, this movement is significant in religious practice, as it represents respect and submission to a higher power. On the battlefield, kneeling would signal the act of surrendering or begging for mercy. So why is this tradition still relevant for modern-day proposals? Bending down on one knee symbolises the man’s humble acknowledgement that, by marrying his beloved, he is choosing to leave behind his days as a bachelor, and fully commit to the desires and needs of his future spouse. 

 

 

Why do women propose on a leap year? The tradition of women only being allowed to pop the question on a leap day is said to stem from Irish folklore. In the fifth century, Irish nun St Bridget proposed to St Patrick on the 29th February – she’d grown tired of waiting for her suitor to get his act together. Unfortunately, she was rejected, but St Patrick struck a deal with St Bridget, decreeing that women were forever more allowed to propose on a leap day. He reasoned that this would balance traditional gender roles in the same way an extra day every four years stabilises the annual calendar. According to this legend, women were expected to wear either breeches or a scarlet petticoat when going down on one knee. If a woman proposes not on a leap day, superstitions predict crop failure, cats learning to talk, and forty days of rain. Many European countries uphold the tradition that if a man refuses a woman’s leap day proposal, he must pay her a fine in the form of either a new gown, money, or 12 pairs of gloves – the latter being for her to hide the embarrassment of not having a wedding ring. A ‘no’ from the man in Finland dictates he must buy enough fabric for the woman to make herself a new skirt. Laws in the Middle Ages actually enforced these strange penalties.

 

 

THE HEN PARTY

In Middle English the word ‘hen’ meant any female bird, thus why a hen party is exclusively for ladies. The occasion itself was likely derived from Ancient Greek wedding traditions, of which there were three separate events. During the Proaulia, the bride would spend time at home preparing for the ceremony with her female relatives. This would be followed by Gamos, the wedding itself, before which there would have been an all-female feast, and Epailia, the post-marriage celebration. The term ‘hen party’ originally has no pre-wedding context. This phrase dates back to the 1800s when it was used to refer to a gathering of women. In 1940, activist and politician Eleanor Roosevelt was described as hosting a Christmas 'hen' party for prestigious women of society. From the mid-1960s onwards the term ‘hen party’ grew in popularity, and in 1976 it was first used in its modern-day wedding context. The Times initially used the phrase in inverted commas in their story about the inappropriate behaviour of a male stripper at said party...

 

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THE STAG DO

The first ever stag dos were rumoured to have taken place in the Ancient Greek city of Sparta when raucous feasts were held to honour the groom, and toast the end of his youth (it seems not much has changed!). Stag parties were also a popular tradition in Tudor times – we wonder if Henry VIII had one for all of his six marriages? But what about the name? Originally, the term ‘stag’ referred to any male animal, hence why a stag party is just for men. 

 

 

THE DRESS

Nowadays, the bride's dress is one of the notable details of any wedding, whether simple or extravagant.  White is the traditional colour but did you know that at one point, your wedding dress was essentially just the best dress you had?  Women who were getting married didn't always go out hunting for the perfect wedding dress, they simply went to their wardrobe and picked out the fanciest thing they had.  They didn't care what colour it was, they wore what they had with pride, and often tried to dress it up a little with jewellery or other adornments.  The tradition of wearing a white wedding dress didn't come about until about 1840 when Queen Victoria was married.  Her dress was white, covered in lace and threaded with orange blossoms along the trim.  It was such a hit that people everywhere began to copy the look.

 

THE VEIL

Some say the veil hides the bride's beauty and wards off evil spirits but I think the second explanation is much more likely in that in the days of arranged marriages, the bride's face would be covered until the groom had committed to the marriage.  That way he could be tricked into marrying someone, shall we say, a little less attractive!

 

 

THE BEST MAN

This tradition stems from Anglo-Saxon England.  Then, a groom would take along his most trusted and strongest friend (his 'best' man) to help him fight any résistance to the wedding because that particular friend was typically the 'best' at wielding a sword or weapon, which is what you’d need in case a rival group attacked during the ceremony. The best man would also walk up the aisle with the groom and stand by to ensure the bride could be properly defended during the ceremony.  And whilst we are on the subject of fighting, the bride stands to the groom's left during the ceremony  because in bygone days the groom needed his right hand (his sword arm)free to fight off other suitors.

 

 

BRIDESMAIDS

These days, the bridesmaids help to ensure the bride looks stunning on her wedding day but this was not always the case.  Bridesmaids originally wore dresses that were meant to look fairly similar to the dress of the bride so that any evil sprits that happened to pass her wouldn't automatically know which woman in the group was the bride.

 

 OLD, NEW, BORROWED & BLUE

We’ve all heard this one before—all weddings need something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue